
What not to feed your baby
FOOD.
Love it or loathe it, it's here and it's here to stay. Just look around you. Are you eating? If not, you either were not long ago, or you will soon. That's the power... of FOOD.
But if you think it ends there, you're just kidding yourself. Food is just as important to a baby as it is to you. Maybe more. All babies. Any baby. Even... your baby.
You could fill a library with the books telling you what to feed your baby. It would have to be quite a small library, probably. Or several shelves of a big library. But the point is, current literature has got that covered. Who's there for you if you want to know what NOT to feed the damn thing?
We are, that's who.
Read. Take note. Apply.
Good luck.

They might be quite fibrous. That doesn't make them high-fibre. And don't be fooled by the fact that there is no discernible difference in taste between pencil shavings and muesli. Don't feed pencil shavings to your baby. Or muesli for that matter.

A bit of a "one man's meat"-type scenario in play here. Were your child an item of outdoor wooden furniture, you could feel free to take the creosote to it all the live-long day. Things being as they are, however, not.

or any deceased chilean dictator with a human rights record like a bucket of shit

They might be quite fibrous. That doesn't make them high-fibre. And don't be fooled by the fact that there is no discernible difference in taste between pencil shavings and muesli. Don't feed pencil shavings to your baby. Or muesli for that matter.
eRsaTz:
in proud association with
what not to feed your baby

ha! staples! I get it! staple diet, right? hahaha! staples! staple diet, so let's feed staples to the baby, right? you are a terrible parent

even without the fundamental obstacle of this late jurassic vegetarian goliath's extinction, its renowned plates and spikes put this one squarely in the too hard for baby basket, nosh-wise. moulinex have yet to produce a device that could take on the pureeing attempt.

sand's contribution to our civilisation is beyond reproach. not only is it a peerless surface upon which to lie on a beach, but from glass to the silicon chip it has propped up technology, driving us forward individually and as a species. but a closer look at the list of all its achievements reveals not a single reference to infant nourishment. and with good reason.

ha! staples! I get it! staple diet, right? hahaha! staples! staple diet, so let's feed staples to the baby, right? you are a terrible parent

as ideal as these gaudy orbs of fun might be in respect of decorating a party venue, they are nothing more than a choking hazard to a peckish baby.

this quiet little suburban calling house on South Sydney's Illawarra line might seem like pretty small potatoes to you. But it's insurmountable potatoes to the little one.

as with so many things, the decisions that your one-day-to-be-adult baby will make are entirely their own. crack, bum and/or bum crack are all consumption choices for the future. for now, though, only one choice is acceptable: no.

as ideal as these gaudy orbs of fun might be in respect of decorating a party venue, they are nothing more than a choking hazard to a peckish baby.